Thirty minutes into interviewing Brielle Brilliant, I confessed to her a dream I had, involving me and my high school friends dying in an elevator shaft. I can still remember the sensation of my body and the shaft hitting cement: black infinite space of an unsatisfying afterlife. “Is terror related to beauty?” Brielle had asked me. We spent most of her interview questioning concepts such as these; how they related to her new work The Spud, what it means in the realm of sight and fear and so on.
Brilliant’s company felt safe and mystical. Her book The Spud more so; a narrative through memory, excerpts of violence and ambition through prose. I wanted to know Brielle’s process as a writer, less the context of the work as reader. But as our talk reached its third hour, I was beginning to understand the enticement of reading a work without any backscene knowledge. That's what's so honest about a book: you are asked to only read and reflect. To talk to an author is a privilege, and the discussion with Brielle is one I am honored to have had.
Is The Spud your first book?
No, but it’s my first published narrative. I have a book of poems called The Curtsy Family (Thoughtcrime Press). This one (The Spud) is more of an approach to narrative. A sense of nausea, maybe.
Aside from writing, you are also a filmmaker. I could feel a cinematic essence to this text. The chapters feel like scenes from a script. Was that your intention? What was the process?
It’s tricky…(laughing)...I’m hesitant to explain the whys of structures. Dialogue is verse. Like, talking can feel like poetry sometimes, you know? That’s part of the book’s world. So there are spaces and scenes around those moments. And in terms of film, yeah, it’s movement-images. When I write or live or film, there are multiple realities happening, moving. They’re all true, all present. The character’s experiences are real.
Call me a seven-year old, but I wanted to write a book for someone who wanted to kill people, but then have them read this and be like: “Nevermind. I think I’ll just go to the gas station instead.” It probably sounds dumb and naive, but like, what would you say to someone to not make them kill? Especially if they already have a strong rhetoric, they’re not gonna be moved if you just say, “Don’t do that, it’s wrong.” So do you use logic or emotion or what? If I had that person in my car, what do I say? That’s what I was thinking. If there’s anything you could say that would actually change their mind.
Tell me about your cassette tape. Is it related to the book? And why a tape?
Cause tape, like tape, tape, film, reels, an object in time. The first time I touched an 8mm reel, it was under a magnifying glass. I became so obsessed with splices and spools and the image of that in your brain or eye, like how the fuck does this plus this make images and sounds?? Plus I shoot on mini DV tapes now, so. I don’t know, it’s the same thing with words. Knowing is a process in time and it feels special to give that physical. On it are calls and deliveries. On Side A are calls I made to a bunch of gun shops, mostly in Idaho. Side B are calls I had made to Staples employees and stuff like that.
Why did you call Staples?
To ask what kind of deliveries they make.
Why call Idaho?
Well, The Spud, it’s in Idaho. And I lived there-
Oh, you lived in Idaho?
Yeah. For a bit. But it’s funny, no one knows what it is. When you say Idaho, “I don’t know” comes out. “Idahno...” (laughing) It’s a geographic mystery. You ask someone to point out where Idaho is on the map and they don’t know. It feels very American in that way.
When/why did you live there?
To go on an Information Fast, a few years ago.
These characters of yours live there. They are all so dynamic. I was especially interested in the girl, JD, and her moments in high school, that part with the track. She really pulls.
Yeah, cause she’s fueling with all the movies she’s watched! Pretty awful movies. Memories that repeat. So the decision to turn is huge. It can be really hard to get the tools you need for that, could take your whole fucking life. Like, with your elevator. What kinda thing do you need to bring into that elevator to affect your dream, you know? So you can go into elevators again and not be scared. Maybe you need to bring a machete or something? A song. And in the car ride, what does KP need. I just mean what can a person do to not be in a cycle anymore. Like, what could you give someone to help them get out of certain image cycles. They might not even know they’re in them. It’s not necessarily logical. It’s mysterious and complicated, but. The methods come easier for me when I’m present.
I was just thinking about that on the way here...JD, I mean. When you're sixteen, you have these obsessions. You haven’t discovered yourself yet, so you have these fixations that can seem a little unbalanced. But I don’t want to tell a sixteen year old, who has no idea who they are yet, that their dreams are wrong, you know?
There’s so much momentum in the failing of dreams. It’s hard to see that sometimes because we get attached to certain images of thought. Perfectionism can be really dangerous, paralyzing. So many people fear their dreams will fail so they keep these beautiful pristine images in their mind and don’t act on them cause they’re scared it won’t come out that way. I’ve definitely been there --so in love with the thought-image that you hoard it in your mind, but once those thought-images start breaking, other images come, and the world keeps building. It builds way past your images. It’s just an illusion that’s there is nothing else and you “broke” The Only One and now you have to die because everything’s gone and you suck. It’s a mean endurance some of us force on ourselves. But breaking is actually really exciting, cause it loosens things. I dunno. Pray in mistakism. I just try to live my life hoping I can be brave and curious. That’s all I can do, be present like that.
Being present can seem obvious but then you realize “Wow. I’ve been on my phone for thirty minutes.”
Yeah, we’re are an addicted culture. Phones, bars, money, applause….
As a reader, I found the text to be so interesting, page ninety-eight especially. The collection of multiple writing styles and character point of views and numbers on the page gave it almost a dream-like feeling.
Yeah I’m just obsessed with basic stuff, like how a person reads and sees. Listens. All the possibilities in surfaces and perception.
The Spud is the author’s obsession manifested: the characters and experiences bending and blending. Perception isn’t just a one way street; it’s layered, nuanced! One can only pray our perceptions aren’t so convoluted; we don’t know where we’re going. Through the infinite layers of experience, Brilliant grabs the reader by our shoulders.
The Spud is available now for pre-order through Featherproof Books Press here.
Brielle Brilliant is a writer and filmmaker currently based in Chicago, IL. You can reach her here. She is currently looking for the perfect street lamp.
(This interview has been condensed and edited.)